Loneliness is often manifested by a personal void. When feeling this emotion, turn inward and ask yourself the following questions.

“Where is this stemming from?” 

“When have I felt this way before?”

It also is possible that you are craving a sense of belonging and connection that is absent or that you just haven’t found yet. You are not alone in this. There are millions of people who feel lonely every day. What matters most is how you respond to this void.

By taking action, you are taking ownership and responsibility of alleviating loneliness. We often look for validation from this from external gratifications, such as other people or events to fill this vacancy in our hearts. However, sometimes this can be more harmful if your expectations are not met by them. You may be setting yourself up for disappointment.

It can be so empowering when you reframe your thoughts on loneliness.

There are 3 key components to combating loneliness.

1. Reframe your thoughts on loneliness:

Be mindful of this emotion, you may acknowledge that it is a temporary experience and that it will pass. You may also want to check in with your own thoughts in regard to loneliness, by asking questions like:

  • “Am I putting too high of expectations on myself or others to  fill this void?”
  • “What is another perspective I have to offer on being alone?”
  • “In what ways can I provide comfort and/or entertainment for myself?”
  • “What advice would I give to a  loved one with this issue?”

2. Embracing solitude and practicing gratitude: 

In what ways can you enjoy your alone time? Solitude is often a gift we take for granted in our busy lives. By staying present with yourself in this moment of solitude, you open the windows of passion, creativity, relaxation, and personal growth to flow into your life.

This is a great time to give your body the rest it needs or to return to your hobbies, goals, and projects. It is imperative to slow down and recharge, even if it means binge-watching your favorite shows or movies. Relaxation might also look like napping, meditation, going on a walk, or taking a hot bath. Your energy is sacred and should be nurtured from time to time. Think about what you enjoy most about these experiences of solitude.

3. Practicing gratitude or selflessness towards others:

Showing appreciation or acting kind towards others can invoke feelings of happiness and compassion. When you give others the gift of your time, service, or uplifting words, it helps to know you are making a positive impact on someone else, that you have a purpose.

It is important to remember that being comfortable with yourself and increasing self-compassion can take some time to build. You are re-learning about ways to be kind to yourself. It is recommended that you explore this part of yourself with a licensed mental health professional in individual psychotherapy. It can be beneficial to have someone validate you as you process your past experiences, challenge your distorted thoughts and behaviors, or help you gain tools to promote resilience.

We have several trained and experienced therapists in our office who are accepting new clients for both in-person and telehealth visits. Please email us in order to get started on your healing journey!


Suggested Readings:

Feeling Lonely Sometimes….

Do you have lots of friends online, but still feel lonely?


Embrace Your Solitude


28 Benefits of Gratitude & Most Significant Research Findings




Erica J. Kemp, LLMSW

Mental Health Therapist